Lydia Home: Friday Night Cookouts

Lydia Home offers many different services to the people of the Davenport community. Two of the services it is most known for are the after-school program and the Friday night cookouts. The after-school program takes place after school Mondays through Thursdays until 5:30 p.m. On Fridays, however, the volunteers at Lydia Home have a cookout where they serve dinner and desserts to the children and families that Lydia Home serves. I have been fortunate enough to work a couple of these Friday nights.

On the first Friday, I arrived at Lydia Home around 5:30.  The other volunteers had prepared hamburgers, cheese burgers, garlic bread, and a salad.  There were about seven families there enjoying the meal provided and each other’s company.  I met the parents of some of the children I help on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  I had a lovely conversation with Chrissy’s parents.  Chrissy is a high school student who comes to Lydia Home quite often.  Her mom is a nurse and her father has just recently been put into a home because he has been diagnosed with dementia.  Her mom and I talked about how our weeks had gone.  I really enjoyed listening to her and I could tell she liked having someone to just talk to and spend time with.  Chrissy’s father and uncle talked to me about when they were in high school and reminisced on old times.  I really liked hearing their stories! It gave me a sense of how I need to appreciate every moment of my life because I never know when something can turn my life upside down.

Later on, after dinner was cleaned up, some of the kids went to play with the toys.  I played carpet ball with Chrissy and her sister Abbey for a little while.  After that, I played transformers with a boy named Merrick. 

Before I knew it, it was 7!  Everyone started to leave so I started to help Joyce clean everything up.  I cleaned up the toys, stacked the chairs, and wiped down the tables.  I also helped put away any extra food and gave it to some of the families as they were leaving.

The next Friday I was back at Lydia Home for another cookout.  This week, we served pasta, meat sauce, garlic bread, salad, and brownies!  Many of the same families were there this week as they were last week.  There were also a few more families too.  I helped serve the food to the children and their parents for the first forty-five minutes or so. 

After I finished serving the food, I helped Joyce and Pat clean up all the food and package it to give to the families before they left.  I also had another wonderful conversation with Chrissy’s father and uncle.  They gave me some history on Saint Ambrose University.  They told me that Saint Ambrose used to be a very small college, but within the past few decades it has grown into a university and has constantly been expanding.  They also told me about their college days, their majors, and the jobs they ended up with.  They told me how their lives are much different than they expected.  For example, Chrissy’s father served in the military, which he never imagined doing.  He also never imagined that he would ever get dementia.  However, he says that it is things like this that make his appreciate every day, because you never know when it is all going to change.   

After I finished talking with Chrissy’s family, it was time to go.  I really enjoyed working the cookouts because it gave me the opportunity to meet new people and see life in a different perspective.  Working these cookouts and spending time with these families really showed me how important it is to really live life to its fullest.  You never know where you will end up in life.  Wherever that might be, it is important to enjoy what you have!

By working these cookouts, I have learned how conflict and empathy play a part in everyday communication.

Conflict plays a role because it determines how someone will react to a situation.  Conflict is not always between two or more people, however.  It can be between a person and something in their life.  For example, Chrissy’s father is in conflict with himself over his dementia.  He is upset that his memory is not as sharp as it used to be and it has caused him to lose a lot of his freedoms.  He has to live in a special home, lost his driver’s license, and cannot always see his kids as much as he wants to.  He is in constant battle with his emotions because he just wishes he could spend time with his family and be able to enjoy the freedoms he was able to just last year.  However, he knows it is important to focus the present and enjoy as much of it as he can.  If he lets this conflict control him, it affects his relationships with his family and friends.  He has to work out his conflict to make sure he keeps all his relationships strong!

Empathy also plays a major role.  Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes to see the situation the way they see it.  I had to be empathetic when I talked to the families at Lydia Home.  They have dealt through so much more than I ever could imagine.  They have dealt with disease, financial problems, unimaginable stressors and so much more!  When I compare my life to theirs, I truly see how blessed I am and how easy my life is compared to theirs.  I need to put myself in their shoes though so I can see the struggles they deal with every day.  For example, I am not battling mental illnesses or abusive relationships.  There is so much more going on in the lives of those who come to Lydia Home for support.  I need to be empathetic to see that and understand where they come from.  By being able to see their lives how they see it, I can better interpret each situation and conversation I have with them.  By knowing where they are coming from, I can better determine how to respond to what they tell me.  Also, by being empathetic, it opens my eyes and shows me how precious life is and how I really need to appreciate what I have!

Working at Lydia Home has really opened my eyes!  It has shown me how easily my life could go from good to bad.  It also has showed me that I need to have multiple perspectives of each situation because my perspective is not the only one there is!  Through all I have learned, I know that I need to be kind, caring and empathetic.  I know I need to settle conflicts with myself and others to keep my relationships strong.  I also need to appreciate what I have because there are so many other people who would do anything to be in my position.  Finally, I have learned that I need to look through another person’s eyes and see how they perceive the situation because their perception can be very different from mine!

I have learned so much at Lydia Home and I plan to use all that I have learned to strengthen my relationships with others, appreciate my life, and do what I can to improve and help the lives of all those around me!