Lydia Home: A Journey's End

I have worked at Lydia Home for about two months now.  I have spend countless hours with the children helping them with homework assignments, letting them braid my hair, playing hide-and-seek, and spending time with their families at the Friday Night Cookouts.  I have thoroughly enjoyed my time at Lydia Home and have decided to continue to donate my time to the children.  They have taught me so much and I know I can learn so much more everytime I volunteer at Lydia Home.

Looking back at the time I have spent at Lydia Home so far, I have noticed a few recurring themes.  These include perception, empathy, and language.  Of these, perception seems to be one of the most prevelant.  When I first came to Lydia Home, I perceived that the children might not be open to me helping them and that they might not want to listen to me.  However, as I spent more time with the kids, my perception changed.  I can now see that they are more than happy to have me spend time with them.  While they are not always the greatest listeners when it comes to settling down and getting homework done, they do try their hardest to get their work done.  Another incident in which perception is prevelant was when helping the kids with homework.  Much of the information I helped teach them seemed pretty easy to me.  Because of this, I perceived that they should have a pretty easy time understanding the concepts as well.  However, I realized that they perceive things differently than I do.  I have to adjust the way I taught them to make it easier for them to understand their homework.

Another recurring theme was language.  Language is so important in our everyday lives.  I truly realized this while working at Lydia Home.  I saw how important it was to monitor what I say and to make sure that I do not say anything that could offend the children.  I have to make sure I talk appropriately around the children.  It is not appropriate to use swear words or talk about what I did over the weekend.  Instead, I need to spend more time paying attention to the children, answering their questions and keeping them involved in the conversations.  Also, I realized that, due to perception, it can be easy to accidentally offend one of the kids.  For example, a few of the kids were playing football.  One of them was throwing the ball wrong and, when corrected, he was offended.  he thought that we were lookin down at his abilities when we were just trying to help him play a little better.  It is important to choose our words wisely to effectively and appropriately send a message to these little kids.  Finally, I realized how important language is when I noticed how many of the children could not properly communicate.  Some of the kids did not know how to use words to describe what they want.  They could not ask for what they needed, making it difficult to address their needs.  Also, some of the kids could use words, but not the right words.  They would say they were hungry when they were thirsty and vise versa.  I realized that language is so important in communication!

Finally I noticed how recurring empathy was.  I had to be empathetic to all the kids and the situations they came from.  Many of these kids had parents in prison, had tough home lives, or had parents with mental and pysical illnesses that caused a strain on the family.  I had the pleasure to work with these kids and talk with some of their parents to learn more about them.  I was constantly trying to see the world how these kids and their families saw it.  By having a different percetion and by being empathetic to their situations, it made it much easier for me to work with them and understand where their acting out and school struggles stem from.

I have learned so much from working at Lydia Home.  I will use what I have learned to help me in the future.  I will work harder to be more empathetic towards others.  When others are being rude towards me or seem to be having a rough day, I will work harder to try to view life through their eyes.  I will also be careful about my perception.  I will make sure that I consider all perceptions towards a situation.  By checking my perception, I can make sure I react to any given situation in the best way possible.  Finally, I have realized that I need to be much more consciencious on how I talk to others.  I am much more aware of how I talk to my family, friends, and anyone I come into contact with.  I will work harder to be a more effective and proficient communicator as well as a better person in general.  Lydia Home has taught me so much.  I plan on using all I have learned to shape me into a better person than I currently am!

Lydia Home: Friday Night Cookouts

Lydia Home offers many different services to the people of the Davenport community. Two of the services it is most known for are the after-school program and the Friday night cookouts. The after-school program takes place after school Mondays through Thursdays until 5:30 p.m. On Fridays, however, the volunteers at Lydia Home have a cookout where they serve dinner and desserts to the children and families that Lydia Home serves. I have been fortunate enough to work a couple of these Friday nights.

On the first Friday, I arrived at Lydia Home around 5:30.  The other volunteers had prepared hamburgers, cheese burgers, garlic bread, and a salad.  There were about seven families there enjoying the meal provided and each other’s company.  I met the parents of some of the children I help on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  I had a lovely conversation with Chrissy’s parents.  Chrissy is a high school student who comes to Lydia Home quite often.  Her mom is a nurse and her father has just recently been put into a home because he has been diagnosed with dementia.  Her mom and I talked about how our weeks had gone.  I really enjoyed listening to her and I could tell she liked having someone to just talk to and spend time with.  Chrissy’s father and uncle talked to me about when they were in high school and reminisced on old times.  I really liked hearing their stories! It gave me a sense of how I need to appreciate every moment of my life because I never know when something can turn my life upside down.

Later on, after dinner was cleaned up, some of the kids went to play with the toys.  I played carpet ball with Chrissy and her sister Abbey for a little while.  After that, I played transformers with a boy named Merrick. 

Before I knew it, it was 7!  Everyone started to leave so I started to help Joyce clean everything up.  I cleaned up the toys, stacked the chairs, and wiped down the tables.  I also helped put away any extra food and gave it to some of the families as they were leaving.

The next Friday I was back at Lydia Home for another cookout.  This week, we served pasta, meat sauce, garlic bread, salad, and brownies!  Many of the same families were there this week as they were last week.  There were also a few more families too.  I helped serve the food to the children and their parents for the first forty-five minutes or so. 

After I finished serving the food, I helped Joyce and Pat clean up all the food and package it to give to the families before they left.  I also had another wonderful conversation with Chrissy’s father and uncle.  They gave me some history on Saint Ambrose University.  They told me that Saint Ambrose used to be a very small college, but within the past few decades it has grown into a university and has constantly been expanding.  They also told me about their college days, their majors, and the jobs they ended up with.  They told me how their lives are much different than they expected.  For example, Chrissy’s father served in the military, which he never imagined doing.  He also never imagined that he would ever get dementia.  However, he says that it is things like this that make his appreciate every day, because you never know when it is all going to change.   

After I finished talking with Chrissy’s family, it was time to go.  I really enjoyed working the cookouts because it gave me the opportunity to meet new people and see life in a different perspective.  Working these cookouts and spending time with these families really showed me how important it is to really live life to its fullest.  You never know where you will end up in life.  Wherever that might be, it is important to enjoy what you have!

By working these cookouts, I have learned how conflict and empathy play a part in everyday communication.

Conflict plays a role because it determines how someone will react to a situation.  Conflict is not always between two or more people, however.  It can be between a person and something in their life.  For example, Chrissy’s father is in conflict with himself over his dementia.  He is upset that his memory is not as sharp as it used to be and it has caused him to lose a lot of his freedoms.  He has to live in a special home, lost his driver’s license, and cannot always see his kids as much as he wants to.  He is in constant battle with his emotions because he just wishes he could spend time with his family and be able to enjoy the freedoms he was able to just last year.  However, he knows it is important to focus the present and enjoy as much of it as he can.  If he lets this conflict control him, it affects his relationships with his family and friends.  He has to work out his conflict to make sure he keeps all his relationships strong!

Empathy also plays a major role.  Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes to see the situation the way they see it.  I had to be empathetic when I talked to the families at Lydia Home.  They have dealt through so much more than I ever could imagine.  They have dealt with disease, financial problems, unimaginable stressors and so much more!  When I compare my life to theirs, I truly see how blessed I am and how easy my life is compared to theirs.  I need to put myself in their shoes though so I can see the struggles they deal with every day.  For example, I am not battling mental illnesses or abusive relationships.  There is so much more going on in the lives of those who come to Lydia Home for support.  I need to be empathetic to see that and understand where they come from.  By being able to see their lives how they see it, I can better interpret each situation and conversation I have with them.  By knowing where they are coming from, I can better determine how to respond to what they tell me.  Also, by being empathetic, it opens my eyes and shows me how precious life is and how I really need to appreciate what I have!

Working at Lydia Home has really opened my eyes!  It has shown me how easily my life could go from good to bad.  It also has showed me that I need to have multiple perspectives of each situation because my perspective is not the only one there is!  Through all I have learned, I know that I need to be kind, caring and empathetic.  I know I need to settle conflicts with myself and others to keep my relationships strong.  I also need to appreciate what I have because there are so many other people who would do anything to be in my position.  Finally, I have learned that I need to look through another person’s eyes and see how they perceive the situation because their perception can be very different from mine!

I have learned so much at Lydia Home and I plan to use all that I have learned to strengthen my relationships with others, appreciate my life, and do what I can to improve and help the lives of all those around me!

Lydia Home: Week 2

This week was my second week volunteering at Lydia Home. Just like last week, I volunteered on Tuesday and Thursday. This week was very similar to last week. 

I arrived at Lydia Home on Tuesday around 3:30 in the afternoon with my classmate Julie. When we arrived, a few of the children were already there, playing pool, carpet ball, and hide-and-go-seek. After playing for about twenty minutes or so, Joyce, one of the ladies in charge of Lydia Home, instructed all the kids to wash their hands for snack time. The kids had a small snack of fruit snacks, trail mix, and fruit punch. 
After the kids all finished their snacks, it was time to get started on their homework. I helped a girl named Zay with her English homework. She was learning how to turn singular nouns to plural nouns and vice versa. She was also learning how to find antonyms in a sentence. She did great with singular and plural nouns but had a harder time understanding the concept of antonyms. After some practice, though, she seemed to get the hang of it. Zay finished her homework around the same time all the other kids did. Since all their work was done, it was time for them to play again! 

All of the kids went outside to play on the swings, play tag, and throw around a football. I spent most of my time throwing a football with a boy named Marquis and a boy named William. Both seemed to really enjoy themselves and were having a great time playing with the football.  

Before I knew it, it was time for all the kids to go home! I said goodbye to them all and told them I would see them on Thursday.

On Thursday I returned to Lydia Home around 3:30 in the afternoon. When I got there, two kids were playing pool and a few others were lying on a couch. I went over to one of the girls, Timeka. She seemed really upset. When I asked her what was wrong, she simply said she just wanted to go home. I told her that she could go home soon, but for now she had to do her best to put on a brave face and try to have fun while she was there. I helped her get up, wash her hands, and get ready for snack time. After she ate her snack, she seemed to be doing a little better so I assumed she was upset because she was hungry. Later on, when I asked her why she was sad, she told me she was just really hungry and did not get the chance to eat anything at home before coming to Lydia Home that day. She also said she felt much better after getting some food in her tummy.

After snack time I helped Timeka with her homework. First, she read two chapters out of her book to me. Then, she did a math worksheet, two worksheets in reading comprehension, and one worksheet in English. She finished her homework pretty quickly and seemed to almost completely understand everything she was doing.

After she finished her homework, we went outside to play for a little while. I pushed her and her friends Timeah and Toni on the swings for a little while. After playing on the swings for a while, it was time to go! I walked Timeka back inside because her babysitter had come to pick her up. I said goodbye and left.

My second week at Lydia Home was now complete!

My second week at Lydia Home taught me a lot. It taught me how important communication, language, and self-disclosure are.

Communication is one of the most important. It is so important to be able to communicate with these kids properly! Without effective communication, it is hard to understand what the children want and need. For example, one of the kids, Marquis, does not have good communication skills. He is very quiet and has troubles telling others what he wants and needs. Marquis's lack of communication skills makes it difficult for both me and others working at Lydia Home to help him when he needs it. In order to help Marquis communicate better, someone works with him every day, helping him communicate better with others. He has gotten better in the two weeks I have been there, but I can see how important communication is! Seeing Marquis struggle with communication has really opened my eyes to the importance of communication in our lives. I will use what I have learned this week to try to better communicate with these kids to make sure all their needs and wants are addressed. I will also use what I have learned to help others communicate better. By communicating better myself, and by helping others communicate better, it will help everyone address each other's wants and needs.

Language is also very important. It is crucial to use proper language when dealing with younger kids. For example, I need to realize that I have to use simple analogies when explaining things and I need to relate it to their lives. If I do not, it makes it much more difficult for the children to understand. For instance, when explaining subtraction, it is easier for the kids to understand subtraction in terms of having eight pieces of candy and finding how many are left after eating three as opposed to just saying eight minus five. When the kids are given something they can picture, it makes it much easier for them to grasp the concept. In order to give them better analogies to relate to, I have to use the proper language. I will use what I have learned this week to make sure I use proper language when explaining things to the children. I will be more aware of how I explain things to make sure the kids can relate to what I say as much as possible. By doing this, I feel the kids will be much more successful in understanding the material taught to them.

Finally, I have realized the role that self-disclosure has played. Last week, when I first came to Lydia Home, I did not know much about any of the children there. By this week, however, I have learned a lot about many of the kids. I know most of their names, ages, and some of their favorite things to do. They have disclosed personal information about themselves to me because they want me to know them. I have also disclosed information about myself to them. By communicating with them on a more personal level, it shows how I am connecting with the kids. This can show them how I am truly there to help them, and not just a student passing through for a service project. By forming relationships with the children, it makes the service much more meaningful. It also makes it easier to work with the kids. The closer I am to them, the more likely it is for them to listen to me and understand what I am saying. By realizing the role of self-disclosure, I can work harder to make sure to build healthy, meaningful relationships with the kids. The better the relationships are, the easier working with them will be! I will use what I have learned to slowly tell them more about me and to slowly learn more about them to better the quality of my time with the children and at Lydia Home as a whole.

I have learned a lot my second week at Lydia Home.  I have learned how important communication, self-disclosure, and language.  Each week I am learning more about myself, these kids, and how each communicative concept plays a major role in communication.  I look forward to what else I can learn about myself and others in my upcoming weeks at Lydia Home.
 

Lydia Home: Week 1

This week, I had my first two volunteer sessions at Lydia Home on Tuesday, September, 18th and Thursday, September, 20th.



Marquis playing after he finished his homework

On Tuesday, I went to Lydia Home around 3:30 in the afternoon. Once there, I watched the children play for the first twenty minutes or so. After they played for a little bit, they all went to the bathroom to wash their hands and clean up. Then, they were all given a small snack of fruit snacks, juice, and a small cookie. After they were all finished with their snacks, it was time for homework.

I spent most of my time there helping three little boys with their homework. First, I helped a little boy named Davante with his reading and English homework. After he finished his homework, I helped another little boy named William with his spelling homework. I helped him write the letter P and then helped him find pictures of things that started with the letter P. Finally, I helped a little boy named Logan learn how to write the number 2. He struggled with learning the number at first, but after practicing writing the number a dew times, he seemed to really get the hang of it!

After the kids all finished their homework, they were able to play again until it was time to go home. I played with a little girl named Amaya, who loved playing with my hair.  While playing with my hair, she told me stories about her mother and her two brothers, who were also at Lydia Home that day!

Before I knew it, it was 5:30 and time for everyone to go home. My first two hours working at Lydia Home flew by and I had a great time!


Marquis, Timeka, and Mickey before it was time to leave.

On Thursday, I started my day at Lydia Home the same way I started Tuesday. I arrived around 3:30 and watched all the kids play for the first twenty minutes. After playtime, the kids all washed their hands and were given a snack of watermelon, peaches, and apple juice.

After snack time, it was homework time. Most of the kids did not have any homework so instead, the kids were all given specific activities .  These activities were used to reinforce the information they learned in school. I helped a 5th grader named Zay with English, Math, Spelling, and Comprehension work. I worked with her on eight different pages in a workbook to help reinforce ideas such as antonyms, subtraction, and finding key words in comprehensive reading.

Again, once homework was finished, it was time for the kids to play again to burn off some more energy. This time, the children all got to go play outside. There was a small playground outside by the back of the building where the kids all played for about a half hour until it was time to go home!

My first week working at Lydia Home was complete and I enjoyed every minute of it!

After volunteering at Lydia Home a couple times, I have taken the time to sit back, look at my original assumptions and reassess them if needed. For example, in my first blog, I mentioned how I assumed Lydia Home was a place filled with kind, genuine people who cared solely about the well-being of the children that turn to Lydia Home for help. I feel this is most definitely true! The moment I walked into Lydia Home I could feel the positive vibes coming from all those involved in the Lydia Home community. Joyce, Jessica, Pat, and Mr. Lacey, all workers at Lydia Home, greeted me and each of the children with a warm, kind welcome. They treated all the kids with care, love, and respect, making sure they received all the attention they needed. They worked hard to make sure the children had time to play, time to eat, and time to study and do homework so they can succeed in school! The people who worked at Lydia Home were the real deal!

Another concept I addressed in my first blog was the idea of stereotypes.  For example, a common sterotype is that most children who come from low-income families are not very intelligent.  Since most of the children that go to Lydia Home are from low-income families, I assumed, based off of a stereotype, that most of the children would not be very well educated for their age. For many of the children, this was the case. Many of the children were reading at least two or three grade levels below their own. They had hard times understanding basic concepts that many children much younger than them could understand. They also had a hard time staying focused and required one-on-one attention to make sure they got all of their work done. This being said, however, they were not dumb.  They were kids who, when given support and guidance, really could understand the concepts taught to them.  They all had the potential to be brilliant students! They just lacked the help and support system that every child needs to succeed.

A third concept I addressed the children's perception of me coming to Lydia Home to help them.  I assumed many of them would not want me to help them because they would perceive me to be a snobby know-it-all.  However, this was not the case.  On my first day volunteering, the little boy Davante seemed a little weary to having me help him at first. However, after a little while, he warmed up to me and was happy that I was helping him finish and understand all of his school work. Many of the other children seemed to warm up to me pretty quickly. Amaya, for example immediately came up to me and was hugging me, playing with my hair, telling me stories, and asking me all sorts of questions the moment she met me. Logan, William, Zay, and Timeka were very similar. They seemed excited to have me help them with their homework and play with them outside and with the toys inside.  They perceived me to be just another person coming to Lydia Home to help make their days a little better by playing with them and helping them with their work.

Zay giving Julie a hug after playtime on Thursday!

Of all my original assumptions, I realized that the most important one is that I need to keep an open mind. These kids did surprise me, even in the two days I was there! They surprised me with their amount of energy and love of life that they had.  And, while they might not always understand their homework, and, unfortunately, were extremely undereducated, they did work hard and showed that they did care about their schoolwork.  Also, while I originally believed many of the children would be somewhat cynical towards me and not want my help, it turned out they were more than happy to have me help them and play with them! They seemed to really enjoy interacting with all those who volunteered at Lydia Home to make their lives a little bit better each and every day!

My first week at Lydia Home taught me a lot. I will use what I have learned in the future to be of better help to these children. For example, I will have more patience with the kids I work with when they are having troubles concentrating on their homework because I know that these kids are intelligent, even though they need a little extra support in understanding their work.  I will also try my best to explain their homework in the simplest ways possible to make sure they fully understand it. Since I am now aware of how far behind they are in school in comparison to other kids in their class, I will work harder to make sure they can excel in their work, and not be so far behind everyone else in their class, even if it takes longer than usual.  Finally, I will work hard to show the love and care towards the children that everyone at Lydia Home does each and every day!  Lydia Home is an important aspect in the lives of so many different people, and, while I volunteer there, I will do my best to make sure the mission of Lydia Home is fulfilled!

I will conclude this excerpt by saying that I am truly blessed to have been given the opportunity to volunteer at Lydia Home. These children are great kids who just need a little extra help and attention to get them by. They all have the potential to be someone great and they are more than willing to share their stories and talents with others, including volunteers such as myself. I have thoroughly enjoyed my first week at Lydia Home and I am hoping this will continue in my next weeks as a volunteer!

Blog 1: Service Expectations

     When starting a new service project, I always consider my hopes of what I can learn about myself and others and what talents I can share with others.  I also tend to make assumptions about the project and those I will serve based off of what I already know and what I feel I will learn.  Since Lydia Home is a new service project that I am participating in this semester, I continue to consider these elements. 

     The first thing I consider is my hopes of what I can get out of the service project.  In regards to Lydia Home, I hope that I can learn many new things about myself and others who are not as fortunate as I am.  I hope that I can pick up new skills on how to communicate and interact with underprivileged children who have not had the chance to have as wonderful of a life as I have.  I also hope I can look at my life in a new perspective and see how great my life really is and always be grateful for and appreciate what I have!  Finally, I hope that I can really make a difference in the lives of these children, even if it is just spending a couple hours with them every week.  I hope that by sharing my talents, I can help make the children's lives a little better.

     Along with considering my hopes for the service project and those involved, I also contemplate my assumptions about the place I am volunteering for.  Most of the time, my assumptions are based off of knowledge I already have on particular project.  In this case, I am volunteering for Lydia Home. Based off of my knowledge of Lydia Home so far, I am assuming that it is a wonderful and safe environment filled with people who genuinely care for underprivileged children!  I am also assuming that those volunteering for Lydia Home really do strive to create a place for these children to interact with others, be educated, and learn the true meaning of family and friends. And while I do not know very much about Lydia Home, I do like what I have heard and read so far! I look forward to working with Lydia Home and volunteering my time to share my talents and see how Lydia Home can really make a difference for underprivileged children.

     A third aspect I think about when volunteering to help others is the people I will be working with.  Based on the information I have researched so far about Lydia Home, I can assume that the children I will be interacting with will have come from a much different life experience than I have.  I am assuming that they will have had fewer privileges and will not have had the ability to go to Catholic schools, go out with friends and family to dinner, or even go to the movies.  I am also assuming that these children may not be very well educated and, depending on their age, might even be a bit cynical towards me at first.  However, these assumptions can easily be proved otherwise, meaning that I have to keep an open mind!  This is especially true because based on my past experiences, children have continuously shown me how grateful and appreciative they are to those who are willing to spend time with them!  Because of this, I am going to do my best to put aside any negative assumptions and let my experience working with the children determine what I think about Lydia Home and the people it serves! 

    Finally, I ask myself why I chose to serve a particular place.  Some service projects have simple reasons while others have more complex reasons.  For me, Lydia Home has one simple reason:  I love children!  I have always loved children and I thoroughly enjoy devoting my time to helping them and taking care of them!  During the summer, I spend much of my time babysitting kids or volunteering at various camps and schools!  I really like donating my time to children, which makes volunteering at Lydia Home very appealing!  I feel I can really give back to these children because I have done so before in other ways! I feel that by volunteering my time and sharing my talents to help these children, I can effectively and efficiently do something I love and know I am good at!

     After considering my hopes, assumptions, and reasons for choosing to serve, I realize that Lydia Home really is the place for me! It deals with helping children, which I love, and it also involves giving back to those less fortunate that I am.  I will keep an open mind and let my experience at Lydia Home determine how I feel about the service project as a whole!  I look forward to serving those at Lydia Home and I hope this experience can really help me become an even better person for myself, my family, and my community!