Lydia Home: Friday Night Cookouts

Lydia Home offers many different services to the people of the Davenport community. Two of the services it is most known for are the after-school program and the Friday night cookouts. The after-school program takes place after school Mondays through Thursdays until 5:30 p.m. On Fridays, however, the volunteers at Lydia Home have a cookout where they serve dinner and desserts to the children and families that Lydia Home serves. I have been fortunate enough to work a couple of these Friday nights.

On the first Friday, I arrived at Lydia Home around 5:30.  The other volunteers had prepared hamburgers, cheese burgers, garlic bread, and a salad.  There were about seven families there enjoying the meal provided and each other’s company.  I met the parents of some of the children I help on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  I had a lovely conversation with Chrissy’s parents.  Chrissy is a high school student who comes to Lydia Home quite often.  Her mom is a nurse and her father has just recently been put into a home because he has been diagnosed with dementia.  Her mom and I talked about how our weeks had gone.  I really enjoyed listening to her and I could tell she liked having someone to just talk to and spend time with.  Chrissy’s father and uncle talked to me about when they were in high school and reminisced on old times.  I really liked hearing their stories! It gave me a sense of how I need to appreciate every moment of my life because I never know when something can turn my life upside down.

Later on, after dinner was cleaned up, some of the kids went to play with the toys.  I played carpet ball with Chrissy and her sister Abbey for a little while.  After that, I played transformers with a boy named Merrick. 

Before I knew it, it was 7!  Everyone started to leave so I started to help Joyce clean everything up.  I cleaned up the toys, stacked the chairs, and wiped down the tables.  I also helped put away any extra food and gave it to some of the families as they were leaving.

The next Friday I was back at Lydia Home for another cookout.  This week, we served pasta, meat sauce, garlic bread, salad, and brownies!  Many of the same families were there this week as they were last week.  There were also a few more families too.  I helped serve the food to the children and their parents for the first forty-five minutes or so. 

After I finished serving the food, I helped Joyce and Pat clean up all the food and package it to give to the families before they left.  I also had another wonderful conversation with Chrissy’s father and uncle.  They gave me some history on Saint Ambrose University.  They told me that Saint Ambrose used to be a very small college, but within the past few decades it has grown into a university and has constantly been expanding.  They also told me about their college days, their majors, and the jobs they ended up with.  They told me how their lives are much different than they expected.  For example, Chrissy’s father served in the military, which he never imagined doing.  He also never imagined that he would ever get dementia.  However, he says that it is things like this that make his appreciate every day, because you never know when it is all going to change.   

After I finished talking with Chrissy’s family, it was time to go.  I really enjoyed working the cookouts because it gave me the opportunity to meet new people and see life in a different perspective.  Working these cookouts and spending time with these families really showed me how important it is to really live life to its fullest.  You never know where you will end up in life.  Wherever that might be, it is important to enjoy what you have!

By working these cookouts, I have learned how conflict and empathy play a part in everyday communication.

Conflict plays a role because it determines how someone will react to a situation.  Conflict is not always between two or more people, however.  It can be between a person and something in their life.  For example, Chrissy’s father is in conflict with himself over his dementia.  He is upset that his memory is not as sharp as it used to be and it has caused him to lose a lot of his freedoms.  He has to live in a special home, lost his driver’s license, and cannot always see his kids as much as he wants to.  He is in constant battle with his emotions because he just wishes he could spend time with his family and be able to enjoy the freedoms he was able to just last year.  However, he knows it is important to focus the present and enjoy as much of it as he can.  If he lets this conflict control him, it affects his relationships with his family and friends.  He has to work out his conflict to make sure he keeps all his relationships strong!

Empathy also plays a major role.  Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes to see the situation the way they see it.  I had to be empathetic when I talked to the families at Lydia Home.  They have dealt through so much more than I ever could imagine.  They have dealt with disease, financial problems, unimaginable stressors and so much more!  When I compare my life to theirs, I truly see how blessed I am and how easy my life is compared to theirs.  I need to put myself in their shoes though so I can see the struggles they deal with every day.  For example, I am not battling mental illnesses or abusive relationships.  There is so much more going on in the lives of those who come to Lydia Home for support.  I need to be empathetic to see that and understand where they come from.  By being able to see their lives how they see it, I can better interpret each situation and conversation I have with them.  By knowing where they are coming from, I can better determine how to respond to what they tell me.  Also, by being empathetic, it opens my eyes and shows me how precious life is and how I really need to appreciate what I have!

Working at Lydia Home has really opened my eyes!  It has shown me how easily my life could go from good to bad.  It also has showed me that I need to have multiple perspectives of each situation because my perspective is not the only one there is!  Through all I have learned, I know that I need to be kind, caring and empathetic.  I know I need to settle conflicts with myself and others to keep my relationships strong.  I also need to appreciate what I have because there are so many other people who would do anything to be in my position.  Finally, I have learned that I need to look through another person’s eyes and see how they perceive the situation because their perception can be very different from mine!

I have learned so much at Lydia Home and I plan to use all that I have learned to strengthen my relationships with others, appreciate my life, and do what I can to improve and help the lives of all those around me!

Lydia Home: Week 2

This week was my second week volunteering at Lydia Home. Just like last week, I volunteered on Tuesday and Thursday. This week was very similar to last week. 

I arrived at Lydia Home on Tuesday around 3:30 in the afternoon with my classmate Julie. When we arrived, a few of the children were already there, playing pool, carpet ball, and hide-and-go-seek. After playing for about twenty minutes or so, Joyce, one of the ladies in charge of Lydia Home, instructed all the kids to wash their hands for snack time. The kids had a small snack of fruit snacks, trail mix, and fruit punch. 
After the kids all finished their snacks, it was time to get started on their homework. I helped a girl named Zay with her English homework. She was learning how to turn singular nouns to plural nouns and vice versa. She was also learning how to find antonyms in a sentence. She did great with singular and plural nouns but had a harder time understanding the concept of antonyms. After some practice, though, she seemed to get the hang of it. Zay finished her homework around the same time all the other kids did. Since all their work was done, it was time for them to play again! 

All of the kids went outside to play on the swings, play tag, and throw around a football. I spent most of my time throwing a football with a boy named Marquis and a boy named William. Both seemed to really enjoy themselves and were having a great time playing with the football.  

Before I knew it, it was time for all the kids to go home! I said goodbye to them all and told them I would see them on Thursday.

On Thursday I returned to Lydia Home around 3:30 in the afternoon. When I got there, two kids were playing pool and a few others were lying on a couch. I went over to one of the girls, Timeka. She seemed really upset. When I asked her what was wrong, she simply said she just wanted to go home. I told her that she could go home soon, but for now she had to do her best to put on a brave face and try to have fun while she was there. I helped her get up, wash her hands, and get ready for snack time. After she ate her snack, she seemed to be doing a little better so I assumed she was upset because she was hungry. Later on, when I asked her why she was sad, she told me she was just really hungry and did not get the chance to eat anything at home before coming to Lydia Home that day. She also said she felt much better after getting some food in her tummy.

After snack time I helped Timeka with her homework. First, she read two chapters out of her book to me. Then, she did a math worksheet, two worksheets in reading comprehension, and one worksheet in English. She finished her homework pretty quickly and seemed to almost completely understand everything she was doing.

After she finished her homework, we went outside to play for a little while. I pushed her and her friends Timeah and Toni on the swings for a little while. After playing on the swings for a while, it was time to go! I walked Timeka back inside because her babysitter had come to pick her up. I said goodbye and left.

My second week at Lydia Home was now complete!

My second week at Lydia Home taught me a lot. It taught me how important communication, language, and self-disclosure are.

Communication is one of the most important. It is so important to be able to communicate with these kids properly! Without effective communication, it is hard to understand what the children want and need. For example, one of the kids, Marquis, does not have good communication skills. He is very quiet and has troubles telling others what he wants and needs. Marquis's lack of communication skills makes it difficult for both me and others working at Lydia Home to help him when he needs it. In order to help Marquis communicate better, someone works with him every day, helping him communicate better with others. He has gotten better in the two weeks I have been there, but I can see how important communication is! Seeing Marquis struggle with communication has really opened my eyes to the importance of communication in our lives. I will use what I have learned this week to try to better communicate with these kids to make sure all their needs and wants are addressed. I will also use what I have learned to help others communicate better. By communicating better myself, and by helping others communicate better, it will help everyone address each other's wants and needs.

Language is also very important. It is crucial to use proper language when dealing with younger kids. For example, I need to realize that I have to use simple analogies when explaining things and I need to relate it to their lives. If I do not, it makes it much more difficult for the children to understand. For instance, when explaining subtraction, it is easier for the kids to understand subtraction in terms of having eight pieces of candy and finding how many are left after eating three as opposed to just saying eight minus five. When the kids are given something they can picture, it makes it much easier for them to grasp the concept. In order to give them better analogies to relate to, I have to use the proper language. I will use what I have learned this week to make sure I use proper language when explaining things to the children. I will be more aware of how I explain things to make sure the kids can relate to what I say as much as possible. By doing this, I feel the kids will be much more successful in understanding the material taught to them.

Finally, I have realized the role that self-disclosure has played. Last week, when I first came to Lydia Home, I did not know much about any of the children there. By this week, however, I have learned a lot about many of the kids. I know most of their names, ages, and some of their favorite things to do. They have disclosed personal information about themselves to me because they want me to know them. I have also disclosed information about myself to them. By communicating with them on a more personal level, it shows how I am connecting with the kids. This can show them how I am truly there to help them, and not just a student passing through for a service project. By forming relationships with the children, it makes the service much more meaningful. It also makes it easier to work with the kids. The closer I am to them, the more likely it is for them to listen to me and understand what I am saying. By realizing the role of self-disclosure, I can work harder to make sure to build healthy, meaningful relationships with the kids. The better the relationships are, the easier working with them will be! I will use what I have learned to slowly tell them more about me and to slowly learn more about them to better the quality of my time with the children and at Lydia Home as a whole.

I have learned a lot my second week at Lydia Home.  I have learned how important communication, self-disclosure, and language.  Each week I am learning more about myself, these kids, and how each communicative concept plays a major role in communication.  I look forward to what else I can learn about myself and others in my upcoming weeks at Lydia Home.